Bang --> Head --> Death --> I'll smile

I really wonder, what do some parents think their children as? A slave, I suppose? Dad you are back to your old fucking self. I thought you get the idea on why I didn’t like coming home. But it seems that I was wrong. Today, it had been a really hectic and horrible day. I like using the word horrible cause it makes everything sounds damn shitty, but it is a fact. Horrible, is my new word. Horrible, Horrible, Horrible.

First of all, when my mum woke me up at about 8 for my tuition and I told her that I cancelled the tuition because I needed to do my PW, she got so fucking worked up and study scolding and bragging about it. It was really annoying and I just kept quiet. I thought I made a smart choice by keeping quiet. But it turns out the other way. My mum came into my room every 5 minutes to scold me for cancelling tuition. But that was not all. Whenever pretended to sleep and ignore her, she will just come to my bed and beat me. Seriously, I’m a grown up. I don’t need all your soft pussy hits. She nagged until it was about 10 and I got so frustrated that I stomped out of my bedroom and went to do my things. Come on, what’s done is done. It can’t be undone. Just get over it.

The time that I really enjoyed today was when it was PW. My PW group met up in my house and we did our work. It was rather draining because we did the work from 3 to about 6 plus straight WITHOUT ANY BREAK. When I finally thought I can rest, my stupid dad started scolding me for not doing my work. Oh come on, do I look like a robot to you? I need some rest you know? Even machinery needs something called fuel to continue their work! I’m a human! Human needs something call break! You dumb fuck. I know I have no right in calling you a dumb fuck but seriously, you acting like one! So fuck off, dumb fuck.

I have been enjoying my life until today. It had been going quite smoothly. Melissa left for Australia yesterday and the tennis team sent her off. I can’t wait for her to be back. It’s really fun hanging out with her. Now, I’m really in love with school. In school, there is no such thing as PARENTS that will control your life. In school, they treat you like young adults. They don’t beat you, they don’t control you. It’s more of living in a life of your own. In school, you don’t have to quarrel with anyone but instead, you can laugh more than you frown. In school, you get to see everyone, people you like, people who are your friends, people who are really concern about you and people who console you when you’re down. But at home, you have to suffer in silence, get wack by your parents, get scolded by your parents and you DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT have the authority to voice your unhappiness and to voice out why you did that. To parents, what’s wrong is wrong. Even if you’re in the right and your parent sees it as wrong, it’s wrong. Everyone has been saying ‘Life is unfair, get over it’. I have been trying. But it doesn’t seem to be working for me. Maybe one day, I will go crazy and be that autistic guy that killed himself by banging his head. I’m not trying to make fun of him. But I can picture myself doing that. If I die, I will make my funeral a happy funeral. I want to make my parents smile for making me crazy. I want to make them smile for torturing me mentally. I want to make them smile for every fucking things that I did correctly but they say that I was wrong.

If I know that the life of JC was that stressful for me, I wouldn’t have gone to a JC. I would have gone to a poly and have fun for all I care. I don’t need to worry anything about tuition. I just need to set my priorities right and everything will be alright. But on another note, if I didn’t go to a JC, I wouldn’t have met all this fabulous friends of mine, who have been standing by my side and supporting me even when there is an up and down. I love them, I feel loved. They are like my family, a second family. Maybe better…