My confession.
I swear that my parents are starting to become some control-freak. Do you know that in this place called earth, there is something beautiful called life? I wonder if you ever heard of it before. BUT I did. Where is the trust that YOU place in me? I'M YOUR SON FOR GOODNESS SICK! I'm not some fucker that is being picked up from the streets! Oh come on, can't you give me some time and space to relax? Everyone needs a break don't they?! If the whole life of yours only revolves around studying and no playing, you might as well just commit suicide! Seriously.
Mum, I discussed with you this evening and tried to seek your understanding about gaming. But this word, gaming, is like a taboo to you! When I touch on that topic, I felt that you weren’t being fair and I can see that it was really one-sided. Whenever I tried to explain that gaming isn't always bad, you’re always against it! It's more of enjoyment! When you do things that you're dreaded to do, do you call that enjoyment? NO! But wait, you refuse to listen and you kept bragging about those fucktards China scholars who played games and got hook to it and ended up trying to kill their professor and than they committed suicide. Do you think I will be that retarded to do such things? I guess not. Yes, I do agree that gaming gets you hook. But when you're bored with the game, you will stop eventually! Different people have a different perspective! Not everyone is the same! I’m different, do you get it? So stop being so one sided. I told you, because of you guys being so restrictive, that is the reason and cause for making Don such a gaming addict. If you would have let Don play games in the beginning, I don’t think he will get that hook to the games. Please, could you guys give us some air to breath?
And dad, this is the first time I’m begging you. COULD YOU PLEASE STOP BEING SO SARCASTIC? Being so sarcastic seriously kills me. Your sarcasm is very direct and it hurts to hear it coming out from your mouth. Sometimes, I feel like crying. But I can’t, because a man should always hold his tears back. But your sarcasm is killing me deep down in my heart. It’s hurting me so badly but you don’t see it and feel it. You just runt on and on without knowing how the other party feels. I remembered that when I was choosing which school to go to after my ‘o’ level, you wanted me to go to SAJC. Well, I did that. I granted your wish. Can you remember what you told me? You said that you won’t be giving me any pressure and you said that if I were to retain, it is going to be okay. I remembered that very clearly. CRYSTAL CLEAR, IN FACT. And guess what are you doing to me now? You’re giving me so much pressure that I feel like killing myself! I want to end my misery! You boycotted us from playing games, but you don’t know how it feels. To me, playing games is like releasing all my stress. Initially, I thought that tennis was for me to releasing my stress. But now, I realise that instead of helping me, it’s going against me. It is adding on to the amount of pressure! When we were in the car coming back from grandma’s house, your fucking sarcasm almost killed me. Well, you can’t blame me for not wanting to start a conversation with you because I know that it will not lead to anything good. I can read you like a bloody book. It went like this.
Dad: Ben, have you watch terminator?
Me: Ya, why?
Dad: How about Drag me to hell?
Me: Ya.
Dad: Wah. Why are you so free? Did you know that all the other Pre-U people are working so hard and studying so hard? Why are you so slack? You love the thought of retaining right? So which show have you not watch? Pelham123? Want to go watch later?
After hearing what he said, I didn’t bother talking to him. Dad, do you know that what you said to me really hurt me deep inside? The impact is so great that I almost couldn't take it. But too bad. I’m a strong boy and you can’t bring me down that easily. So sorry to break your heart. The rage in me is building and I don’t know how much longer I am going to tolerate. It may be tomorrow, or the day after, I will just blow up and go retarded. YOU ARE THE ONE TO BLAME, YOU ARE THE ONE THAT CAUSE ME TO BE RETARDED. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT SCREW UP MY LIFE. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS DESTROYING ME. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS TURNING ME INTO SOMETHING THAT I DO NOT WANT TO BE.
To be honest, I’m shedding tears now. Not cause I’m sad that you guys scolded me and made me sad. It’s more of tears of hatred and anger.
Mum, I discussed with you this evening and tried to seek your understanding about gaming. But this word, gaming, is like a taboo to you! When I touch on that topic, I felt that you weren’t being fair and I can see that it was really one-sided. Whenever I tried to explain that gaming isn't always bad, you’re always against it! It's more of enjoyment! When you do things that you're dreaded to do, do you call that enjoyment? NO! But wait, you refuse to listen and you kept bragging about those fucktards China scholars who played games and got hook to it and ended up trying to kill their professor and than they committed suicide. Do you think I will be that retarded to do such things? I guess not. Yes, I do agree that gaming gets you hook. But when you're bored with the game, you will stop eventually! Different people have a different perspective! Not everyone is the same! I’m different, do you get it? So stop being so one sided. I told you, because of you guys being so restrictive, that is the reason and cause for making Don such a gaming addict. If you would have let Don play games in the beginning, I don’t think he will get that hook to the games. Please, could you guys give us some air to breath?
And dad, this is the first time I’m begging you. COULD YOU PLEASE STOP BEING SO SARCASTIC? Being so sarcastic seriously kills me. Your sarcasm is very direct and it hurts to hear it coming out from your mouth. Sometimes, I feel like crying. But I can’t, because a man should always hold his tears back. But your sarcasm is killing me deep down in my heart. It’s hurting me so badly but you don’t see it and feel it. You just runt on and on without knowing how the other party feels. I remembered that when I was choosing which school to go to after my ‘o’ level, you wanted me to go to SAJC. Well, I did that. I granted your wish. Can you remember what you told me? You said that you won’t be giving me any pressure and you said that if I were to retain, it is going to be okay. I remembered that very clearly. CRYSTAL CLEAR, IN FACT. And guess what are you doing to me now? You’re giving me so much pressure that I feel like killing myself! I want to end my misery! You boycotted us from playing games, but you don’t know how it feels. To me, playing games is like releasing all my stress. Initially, I thought that tennis was for me to releasing my stress. But now, I realise that instead of helping me, it’s going against me. It is adding on to the amount of pressure! When we were in the car coming back from grandma’s house, your fucking sarcasm almost killed me. Well, you can’t blame me for not wanting to start a conversation with you because I know that it will not lead to anything good. I can read you like a bloody book. It went like this.
Dad: Ben, have you watch terminator?
Me: Ya, why?
Dad: How about Drag me to hell?
Me: Ya.
Dad: Wah. Why are you so free? Did you know that all the other Pre-U people are working so hard and studying so hard? Why are you so slack? You love the thought of retaining right? So which show have you not watch? Pelham123? Want to go watch later?
After hearing what he said, I didn’t bother talking to him. Dad, do you know that what you said to me really hurt me deep inside? The impact is so great that I almost couldn't take it. But too bad. I’m a strong boy and you can’t bring me down that easily. So sorry to break your heart. The rage in me is building and I don’t know how much longer I am going to tolerate. It may be tomorrow, or the day after, I will just blow up and go retarded. YOU ARE THE ONE TO BLAME, YOU ARE THE ONE THAT CAUSE ME TO BE RETARDED. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT SCREW UP MY LIFE. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS DESTROYING ME. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS TURNING ME INTO SOMETHING THAT I DO NOT WANT TO BE.
To be honest, I’m shedding tears now. Not cause I’m sad that you guys scolded me and made me sad. It’s more of tears of hatred and anger.
posted by BenLim | 23:42
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